i know your character well
and you know mine
we’ve been warned
to avoid each other
over and over

“it would be bad for the business”

we relish
then we
realize
that we are
reenacting
a movie about a movie
and not
really stepping off set
until the film rolls
then we’re both upset
and flustered
in the green room
with our entourages
mending our wounds of confusion
and standing us back in place
to try again. telling us to

“feel it…but don’t over feel it”

directing us
to read lines we place together with awkwardness.
again.
and all the while i
remember
me
dancing my way onto the scene
sure we could make the cut this time
when we kiss for them
it feels real to me
but i can be so easily sold.
and we stumble around each other
during breaks
hands touching
hearts racing

“could this be more than staged?” i whisper.
“it can be. and that scares me.” you reply, watching your back.

i wonder.
but you walk away
before we can continue…
and there she is
your little girlfriend
excited, im sure, to be in your arms
just as i would be.
she darts her eyes my way.
she hates me.
and she should.
because i want you.
and for all she knows.
your hers.
and i’m invasive.
but i know the truth
and you’re not…
hers at all.
she watches us
step back into the lights
we profess our love, loudly, professionally…
then walk away

“it’s just a show, babe”
i hear you say
to her.

and i’ll never understand
why you waste your time lying
to a woman you don’t love
for a relationship you don’t want.

and if my mascara runs
i’ll have to redo all of my makeup
and that will take time
and then i will be late
for our time to shine.

there will come a day
when the wrong person walks in
at the wrong time
in the wrong room
with you and i
doing the wrong thing
and that will be reality.
off set.
off stage.
for once.
and if my mascara runs
i’m blaming you.