Filed under: 2008, RHYMING, Uncategorized | Tags: angry poem, broken heart poetry, hurt poetry, poetry
I am fucking falling apart.
But don’t worry, I know you don’t care.
You’ve got a meat grinder where I have a heart
And when I reach out for your hand
It’s never there
Your gray shadow spins off
down some unobtainable street
I follow without thinking
never missing a beat
you carry my closure
like a pistol in hand
strapped onto your hip
just in case i ever stand
up from this pain
up from the cold ground
so you can turn and face me
and shoot me back down
i have nothing to live for
chained to you
and i have nothing to show for
the miles of mud you’ve dragged me through
i have nothing to offer you
untie me and leave me to rot
at least the vultures
would indulge in the one thing i’ve got
untainted by your love
and lack thereof
if it would make you feel right
in light of this abuse
i’ll tell the press that you held on
and I cut myself loose
i’ll tell them the truth
that i’m a masochist
and no one will blame you
cause i asked for all of this
I am not the conniver
I wish I were
Instead you are him
And I am her
The girl being used
Who just doesn’t leave
And when I exit the room
My friends say they can’t believe
That I can be so weak
But baby I’m the queen of
bones too soft to walk away
and tongues too tied to speak
so put me out of my misery
cause i don’t have the strength in me
they say failed romantics are critics
if thats the nail of my head
they swung down and hit it
and knocked me into the dirt
and im so dizzy that nothing hurts
i hear the media is a lie
and women write misery for other women
as collective gender suicide
well if everything they write is a lie
then what is this and who am i
they told me to trust my instinct
and go with my gut
but my intuition is flawed
so i keep my mouth shut
all the world’s a stage
or that’s what i heard someone say
so if we’re all actors
and this is a play
when do we bow
and go home for the day?
someone said you were bad news
but i like to get my news first hand
i’d want you to walk in my shoes
i’d want you to stand where i stand
before determining how good
or bad you think i am
so I wonder how bad people say I am…
I hope you all know that i mean everything i say
even when i dont mean it at all
I hope that one day we can all be friends
Sit around a fire, share stories of what we saw
When we were on the road
Taking our lives for granted
When we our problems were the only ones
That existed on this planet
I hear that artists are all crazy
And self involved
So kill us now or ship us off
And your problem should be solved
But then what would you listen to
And what would you watch
And what would you hang on your walls
And what you read
And do in the evenings
Besides catch us
Every time we’re about to fall
They say we all need each other
Do you believe that?
We live and die alone
but do it in back to back
So my mama never taught me how to brush myself off
How to close my eyes in the scary parts
Or cover my mouth when I cough
And yet I’ve learned and adjusted
Up until now
That my filter is busted
And I’m unlearning everything faster than my brain would allow
If my brain had a say in this
And you’d think I’d let this go
You’d think that I would know
To take the higher road
To save it for the show
Well, you’re not going anywhere
You asked me to take you to my darkest spot
And now I’m gonna leave you there
Is this how you score?
Beat a person down til they can’t feel anymore?
You’ve gotta keep your chin up if you’ve got any class
But you can’t keep your chin up when you’re staring at my ass
Please explain to me your plan
Was it to expose the monster I really am?
Because now I’ve got you where I want you, at my mercy and in tears
You argue your worth
But I’d trade you any day for
A lighter, rope, and 3 or 4 beers
I wish I had an excuse. A will for a better way.
But all I’ve got is my pride and some loose ends to tie up today.
My mama never taught me
How to cross my legs
She didn’t teach me not to curse, drink, spit, or beg
So I made up my manners
And pulled them off well
And never forgot what my mama taught me
About that place they call Hell
Its for liars and cheaters, murderers and thieves
And as far as I’m concerned
You are all of these
So I’ll show you my dark place
if you show me yours
You’ll have to make it out of mine alive first,
Of course
We crossed these sacred grounds
Only to forsake them
Then we buried ourselves in rules
Just so we could break them
You exit like the sunset
Blanket me with regret
And return to rise
Before I’ve had the chance to open my eyes
Just like you always do
Come back when I don’t need you
Stir up another storm
For me to weather through
Well, I don’t care about how well you’re doing these days
(Who are you doing these days?)
I don’t care about what all the magazines say
(Who cares what they say?)
I don’t care about all the girls
Who come to your show
(Even if you’re the reason that they go)
And I don’t care about everyone who said you were great last night
(Cause I’m sure you were great)
But you know something is not right
You know someone is gonna figure you out
Someone is gonna figure you out
You’re scared, so scared
Maybe I won’t be the one to lie to your face
Or invite myself back to your place
But I can’t bear the thought of being another voice
Turning you into something that you hate
I’ve been here all along
Watching you from afar
You change every day these days
You change every day these day
But someone is gonna figure you out
Someone is gonna figure you out
You’re scared
But you can tell yourself it’s ok
When you stop tonight
Stare your face down in mirror
Study the wrinkles forming under your eyes
Smile when you think of me
I’ve waited so patiently
For someone to figure you out
Besides me
Someone besides me
Is gonna open you up
See what you’re really made of
It’s hop, skip, a jump
Back to where I was
And I’m heading back there
Solely because
You’re too scared to look me in the face
And I’d never want to be in your way
While you lay asleep
I will stumble downstairs
Stretch my muscles
See if my lungs are still there
After last night’s time warp
I laid naked next to you
Did so many things
I’d sworn I’d never again do
But who are we now
To conveniently pretend
That we had a clue
Who we were then
What is this rope
That we swing over our heads
Waiting to be tightened
When the right words are said
Who made these rules
And why shouldn’t we break them
There are things I want all over your body
So why shouldn’t I take them
When you spread yourself out
And offer them to me
You can be a lover
Enemy and a friend to me
Cause who cares what we call it
I’d say that lays beside the point
When you’ve got something holy
And I’ve got something to anoint
Filed under: 2008, RHYMING | Tags: betrayal poetry, other woman poetry, poetry
Let me take it all back
All my love that I gave you
Return it to my door step
And leave your key there too
Yes I want it all back
All the beer and all the sex
All of our late night talks
And the buckets of my sweat
You are with her these days
So let me let you go
I’d strangle you if I were her
But I assume she doesn’t know
That your heart has two faces
And one of them is mine
I bet she wonders what you’re thinking
From time to time
Do you stumble on your words
Do you bite your tongue
Do you tell her you’re just tired
And that she’s the only one?
You don’t deserve eternity
And you don’t deserve her nor me
And I say this all regretfully
And you will be the death of me
You don’t deserve my patience
Blossoming through the night
You’ve kept me in the dark
Let me take back the light
