Smoke in the room
Fire is below
We’ll be leaving soon
Before the others know
The flames are dancing
We’re drinking ourselves sick
Sing to me if you can sing
The air is getting thick
I was just
Wondering if this party will end
The music is
Thundering, I’m making a new friend
But I’m tired of all my friends
They make me feel more alone
I would rather go home
The glamour, the glimmer
We’re hammered, but we’re thinner
Than everyone else in the room
Off-camera, we’re bitter
But well-mannered and fitter
Than everyone else, we assume
Glamour, oh my dear
Cock-sucking dirty whore
You’re quite a sight in the right light
I bet you’ve heard that line before
I’ve watched you take my friends
Cried as you took my lovers
I’ve lost some of them
From underneath the covers
I’ll let you come near
I’ll let you sit with me
But there’s no vessel for you here
So do not bullshit with me
Take my neck and choke me
And I will stop hoping
To see the light, so holy
I don’t want to die slowly
This is a carnival
At the lights, I marvel
Hands in the air
Wind in my face
I think I love this place
I am going for a ride
To the darker side of things
Knowing deep inside
I haven’t got the wings
To fly this far from here
I’m just crazy
Creating dimensions and illusions
Translating my confusion into
Wars that are so ugly
Bruised by purpose and my fate
Don’t kiss me, don’t touch me
I’m ready to release the gates
Perfection is an amateur night at the mic
The best shot
At the whole lot
At the hopelessness of sight
I’ll be no prisoner to this passion
I’ll wait not a second more
I’ll exit where these gates once stood
Where a fortress towered before
Because I ride my own horse
I am the first and last daughter
And I haven’t got time for you to tell me
How you’ve been walking on water
What if I told your father
The things you have been saying
What if I exposed this city
To the games you have been playing
It’s a sweet routine
You’ve got going on
I’m ashamed that I’ve been seen
Gliding along
contrast for me sex and love, one simply the denominator of, the latter and the matter is of lusting jealousy, i’d rather not be adjusting my words accordingly, to my careless falling into sleep, in the midst of a meaning, articulated from its womb, then matriculated straight from its birth to its tomb, don’t tell me what i am to you, lovers are mirrors and you’re seeing in twos, passion sure sows a vibrant seed, blossomed through the lose, for the win is mistaken for its audience: the bored and bruised, we’re gonna nail this one, baby, tonight’s the night we score, i’m honored, genuinely, i’m floored, so go on and peace-prize my dynamite recipe, publicize that you’ve discovered the best in me, argue your case til i’m threefold the fool, i’ll find myself a weapon for each time you’ve found a tool, and recently i’ve begun seeing stars, frequently, and i know they know i know what they are, tiny devils dancing, each a sky apart, handsome spirits romancing, their deeds into my heart, is it too much to ask to stand alone? have i lost my air to the microphone? this is how i speak, i know no other way, i talk only to keep, my dwelling thoughts at bay, so look deep in my eyes, express to me what you see, is it a version of you displaced into me?
arrive to the market, entrepreneur of emotion, pick it and mark it, throw it to the ocean, arise-indulge-then decline the moment, deny yourself, defy yourself, turn one more stone over, searching for more than dirt on the ground, spit out one more song, searching for the perfect sound, the note that hits the spot and brings the masses to their knees, turn one more night over, leave it to the moon to please, spoiled hearts and soiled hands, dont tell me that you understand, its a statement routine, phrase over done, admit that i am not just anyone…to you.
here comes the pouring of many truths, its spilled on your lap…i tried with all my might to warn you…that this could turn into that…
give give give
love love love
hurt hurt hurt
pain pain pain
strong strong strong
smile smile smile
trust trust trust
give give give
love love love
guilt like a storm cloud, thinking outloud, i’ve distilled these waters and then polluted them, you thought you might be one of them, news to the boy, flash it over his head, you can’t revive a girl who’s dead. nothing can compare to my lovers, fair, strike a match in the dark and see which one’s lying there. if only it were you each time, if only your hands were the only ones gracing mine, if only, my dear, requires much more than you’ve given, so i’m retracting shame, perhaps the corpse has risen, but not at your touch and not by your faith, your absence has turned me over in my grave, now the whole world is at my finger tips, try to remember the taste of my skin and my lips, for while i’m not gone to you, i am present to others, nothing can compare to my fair lovers
lovers, i fare thee well, dropped my wish into this well, can’t say why i was so compelled, but my demons are now dispelled..supposed truth and honesty, cliche as i suspected, youth and modesty have long now been subjected, to passions dictated by means other than love, ignorance-alcohol-revenge-all of the above, and the means that stand true, will now have to suffer through, the pain of what’s real, and the differences of what’s been told, i could have discharged my conscience and saved my soul, yet i awoke this morning with a vision fresh, a lover has finally passed the test, so to the rest: my heart will not easily sell, fair lovers, i fare thee well
i’d bet he’s thinking of it, while i’m plotting to rise above it, they’ll point fingers and say i love it, but this recklessness will be the death of me, you’ll turn the corner to find what’s left of me. rude, manipulative, and deceitful is what i’ve been, never debating which of my worlds i should be living in, transporting myself from time and place, distorting the scene, avoiding his face, but his gaze weighs heavy on my guilty back, and when my cards again sit in tact, i’ll distribute my kings evenly, i don’t know what they see in me. when i’m true, i’m too much, passion blinds my reason. when i’m reasonable, i’m not enough, ration binds my fortune.
