I don’t like how you wink at me.
I don’t like how you touch me.
I don’t like the things you say to me.
And I hate that you don’t love me.
If there’s anything I want,
it’s everything but this.
But everything I want
is something I will not miss.
When the yellow of the morning
comes peaking in through my lids.
When the reality of your whirlwind
finally sets in.
I long for nothing but the strength
to erase all that you’ve said.
I long for nothing but the courage
to make my way into your bed.
Here’s a toast to your explosion
You’re face to face with humanity
On the coast of the Pacific Ocean
You’re sinking your toes in vanity
I sit patiently on the moistened rocks
Simply watching, simply waiting
I remove my shoes and then my socks
And shiver just anticipating
Your inevitable collapse
And I think back, think back
To a time only months ago
When my eyes could not foresee
How quickly your demons could grow
Only to then invite me
To take a break and come play
And with every memory, I hear myself say
“I’ll only be gone for a bit
I can leave the water running”
But in the aftermath of all of it
The flood damage is truly stunning
So the only place I have to retire
Is where the dry land expires
I sit hugging my kneecaps
And I wait for your collapse
After all, it is you who brought me here
To the edge of emotional sense
After all, it is you who abandoned me and let fear
Imprison me in the past tense
It’s only right that we be here
Together
In this moment, paralyzed
Nothing lasts forever
And that includes you and I
And…them…
So If you see only one set of footprints
Do not be alarmed
I’d bet they were carrying you cause afterall
The fall to the bottom is fast, but it’s far
relapse
i’m pretty sure
this chill could freeze me over
here in the shade
i’m not thinking anymore
nor am i staying sober
nor considering the prices i’ll have to pay
for this bohemian rhapsody
the synergy climaxes and snaps on me
and my focus falls from my grasp
but the night always brings it back
to me.
and i haven’t got issues with the chronic relapse
it illuminates the dull
and it always stops to ask
if i’m happy with my state
at the wrong moment
on the wrong day
but hey i like it that way
i like to learn it
just to know it
won’t change who i am
here’s my diary-watch me burn it
cause no matter what
i do- i am
always rearranging
everything around me
but my mind is unchanging
and the world turns without me
and the fire burns without me
and your head hurts less without me
and there’s nothing i’d hate more
than to watch you collapse
so i blind myself
and give into the relapse
and this is the wrong moment
and the wrong day
but hey, i don’t own it
i just let it show me the way
down the blossoming path toward caves upon caves
where i can eventually retreat
and call them my home
until i can call them my grave
i like to spell things out
and then deny they are words
open my mouth and
speak of the unheard
pronounce disbelief
then wear it so all can see
how good this color looks on me
and i could wear it indefinitely
if you’ll let me
This might be a battle I’ve walked into
While exploring the dark of the loudening woods
Attracted by the lights and humanity
I’ve clearly misunderstood
The grave difference between
A greeeting and a scream.
Or should I be forced here
Into this place to observe
I’ll hold my breath and pretend to disappear
Because I haven’t got the nerve
To watch death in all its glory
Directing for me a story
I thought of long ago
But only to think it then let it go
Now before my eyes-this is not what I envisioned
Within my own private lies
I find myself imprisioned
In this space beside the army of trees
Believing in prayer again, humbled on my knees
Ready to swear I’ll never again harbor a foul thought…
But only in moments like these can I
Cure my disease…
I’ll sit here and quench my appetite
For this chronically blurred sight
And I suppose I can watch.
After all…this isn’t real.
I’ve narrated what I’ve seen…
So I’ll narrate how I feel.
(sickened by my own mind, conscience left far behind)
there’s a tremendous gap growing between who i am and who you think i am
what offends you is me knowing you can’t when i clearly can
there’s a subtle breeze blowing and i walk into it
face first
all the seeds i have been sowing are now
ready to give birth
i’d like to pack my things away
and move into a new town
i’d like to pause my plans today
and let myself slow down
i’m tired of holding myself to par
with every saint before me
and i don’t care what my dreams are
they can wait for me, surely.
i see myself transform
faster than i can adapt
screaming
“i can weather a storm, but i can’t weather that”
and so the night grows old
and the party is expired
and i search my soul
for a place that isn’t tired
But the only place I can find
To awaken my slumber
well, it wasn’t even mine
Until the rolling thunder
and I can’t help but to
take a minute and wonder
what i’d be like today…
if i had just stayed…
WHERE EVERYTHING WAS COMFORTABLE.
Love is not a constant, it’s a climax
Sex is not a climax, it’s a climb
Success is not a goal, it’s an attitude
Your ‘big shot’ isn’t coming, it’s everywhere around you
Regret can help to build you
Repression will tear you down
(Denial will choke you.)
The cure does not lie in religion nor recreation nor relaxation.
(There is no cure.)
Our complexities are not accidental.
Our evolution has been intimate.
Ignorance is what stifles.
There are no tragedies, only bounces on the straight line
Life has begun to imitate art.
(turning emphasis back to life)
Music is everywhere.
(Listen.)
Dance a little with every step.
Tears are proof of sincerity.
Sincerity is proof of soul.
Soul is proof of meaning.
Meaning is proof of fear.
Fear is proof of realization.
Realization is proof of distinction.
Distinction is proof of longing.
Longing is proof of love.
Which is not a constant
Only a climax
Tears admit that this is all moment to moment
This is not about saved up skill
This is not about caution
This is not about a plan.
It’s only about the sight, the attitude, the climb
The climax
sure can admit it’s possible
madly, passionately
pushed with such staged ease
raging, thumping, just unstoppable
sadly and irrationally
begging for reprieve
the toture is in my finger tips
balanced on the curves of my lips
embedded in the fear
separating me from my prince
draining the stunning blood from this
and inviting us to bathe
in the saliva leaked from every single kiss
and now inviting us to stay
and shrivel up in our mistakes.
above the horizon
and into the sun
he could be a liar
but he’s not the only one.
Nebulous dawn, I’ll carry
On, on
Through the day
And you can say I never
Loved you, I never cared to, and I
Liked that you knew, you’d never see
Through these eyes.
Hereditary, it’s not up to me
It’s been blood for years it
Never disappears
God, give me the strength
Show me the way
And don’t let me stray far from my
Roots but oh how
Engaged, my eyes have become
Perplexingly strange, all
Over my tongue sit lines of
Excuses for my mood
Today for my soul so
Ruthless, my world is gray, my world is gray, my world is gray
You are neon on this nebulous dawn, but my world is gray
to quote you
i don’t want you
and you don’t want to
set yourself up
well, don’t quote me
but that’s not true
i just can’t love you
enough
i can bury myself deep under the warm sands of romance
i can dream that i can love you til the end
i can melt when you kiss me, tingle when we hold hands
i can be your lover, companion, and friend
but i’ll change
and i’ll change my mind
and you’ll change, too
we’ll change in time
Filed under: 2007, ACROSTIC, RHYMING | Tags: god poetry, poetry, religious poetry, spiritual poetry
Tonight, I can take you to
Hell, if you wanna see what’s there, I will
Escort you myself
Risk my soul, I swear
Undoing what’s done is only child’s play
Let me show you how to erase and replace
Everything you’re about to do and
Say. We’ve gone
Over this before and just like the
First time I said it, I promise
That you won’t regret it. There’s a line right
Here inside your heart that
Inches forward and
Separates light from dark
Growing here inside your head
Are life…and death
Maybe once I’ve shown you the worst I’ll
Entertain the thought of you being the first
Allowed to see my best, allowing me to
Rest. Your
Eyes speak to me, subtly, they know of
Change and everything’s changing. Even
Here in hell, everything’s changing
And who can tell me what’s next? Just
Navigate through what’s left- at night and
Guard my heart and head with my sight
I take myself closer to you and whisper “You
Need to know this to get through.
God is inside of you.”
Someone was talking behind my back, I heard it while I passed, If you’d
Only ask, I’d tell you the truth about last night, but your story is likely better than
Mine, right? And
Everyone has mornings like this…sure that if
They died, they wouldn’t be missed, oh
How we’ll belittle ourselves
In time, in time we’ll be able to tell the difference between reality and
Negativity.
God, can you hear me? Cause I can’t see or think or
Feel clearly and
Every time a warm soul is near me, I
Enjoy the peace that begins to steer me. I’m more of a
Lover than you probably know, I’m more
Sickened than I could ever show so here we go
Over the hills and to the rainbow, I’m
Faking moods again
Faking moods again
Taking on every gem stardom has to lend and when you say
Oh, we used to be such good friends
Dont dare speak the words near me
And you’ll feel this out clearly
You can feel this out clearly
Filed under: 2007, ACROSTIC, RHYMING | Tags: females in the music business, hit songs, music business, poetry
While you were trusting in us -we were
Having a meeting about the percentage of men who have
Ejaculated on your album cover-who
Never listened to the music-and
They probably would have bought another-but they only
Had fifteen bucks and
Each of them would rather spend it on a girl they’d like to fuck than that band they
Heard last week that sounded like nothing they’d ever heard before.
It makes your heart sore, we know, but
This is a business, kid and you’ve got
Such a nice ass
Of course you are talented, but talent’s
Not gonna generate cash. So we’re gonna get you that speech, make sure you thank
God, that will win you fans and the producers will nod. And
So we had this little meeting and we were thinking
Aren’t you ready for your own magazine spread?
No, the guys in the band won’t mind, they’ll
Dismiss it, they’re your friends. Let me
Call my girl at Elle
Answer these questions about how you don’t kiss and tell
Put on these heels
I know you hate how this all feels but
Tell that to your bank account. Tell that to
All those girls in
Line who just want their poster signed.
I think you’re taking this music thing too
Seriously, baby
THIS IS YOUR JOB
So quit with whining about your integrity
True professionals don’t sob. The
Only way you’ll leave a mark is if you can
Get their attention from the start and
Elizabeth, your lyrics just need a little watering down and could you
Try not to frown in this interview today? I
Have to say, I am starting to think you’re just not cut out for this biz,
Elizabeth, just get with it! You can
Record the songs you really like in a
Couple months when your schedule’s not so tight. we’ll
Open the studio for you at night and you’ll be able to write the
Music that you really care about
But for now we’ve gotta get this record out and you’re
Useless with out a face
So have a drink with us tonight, babe. You know
The place.
Filed under: 2007, ACROSTIC, RHYMING | Tags: home is where the heart is, poetry
Winding roads lead the way
Home but
You know that
Depends
On where your heart is. And it only
Ends where it all
Started.
I caught a glimpse of myself
Today, I caught it from afar, I saw myself from over
There today, I was standing where you
Are. And I
Knew right away that I’ve been
Educated my whole life only to now, finally be
Smart. It’s
Only when you’re conscious of your heart that you can
Live, that you can give, something of substance to everything
Outside of you and you’ll
Never fairly estimate how
Grave a mistake mistaking your surroundings can be. You’ll push it
Just
Until the water overflows, until the grounds part, and then you will
Start
To truly consider these
Things, be
Open to what tomorrow brings-when you’re
Getting close to the
End of your trip,
That’s when you will realize it. That
Home is where your heart is and
Our hearts have been everywhere. You’ve been
Missing the point, but
Each time it’s been right there
You showed up today like you
Owned the whole place and
Under my breath, I think you
May have heard me say
I can’t fucking believe this
Guy…and you placed your
Hand on my thigh
Then I called you an
Asshole so effortlessly but that’s the
Sorta shit that gets to me. So
While you’ve been marching around
Enveloped in your own greatness, you’ve noticed me
Loving it
Like you know that I can take this. And
Just like your reflection, I won’t lie to change your face, not
Unless you’ll then
Stand right there in my place
Tell me how it feels to see everything one way
Give me, give me, give me a taste
I wanna feel your arrogance running through my
Veins, I want your
Every bead of sweat to leave my sheets in stains
I want you to be contagious, right
Now, yes I can
Take this. The
Only room for doubt
That I can figure out is the variable of
How far you’ll go just
In order to
Show…me everything you’re not
